The Structure of the Existence
15 years ago
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Fighting Fair
I don’t care how well matched two people are, they are going to have disagreements, arguments or plain old fights. It’s the human egos nature to defend it’s views even when it knows it is wrong.
Since we are all human and disagreements are bound to happen, just how do you deal with them? The best advice I can give is to cool down before saying ANYTHING. Easier said then done. So….since that is not likely to happen, at least have the common sense to realize your partner is in the same boat. He/she will lash out with things they don’t mean, too.
Second best advice is to forgive. Don’t just forgive your partner….forgive yourself, too. Again, we are human and sometimes our emotions suppress common sense. If someone hurts you, it is normal to want to hurt them in return. Unfortunate but true.
Ok….so your ’other’ says something that hurts you. Hopefully the two of you came up with a keyword that lets the other know that all is NOT well in Paradise. You can always go for “Time out”. If you can, (without yelling) give your other a clue as to what is amiss. Don’t just storm off leaving him to wonder what in the world he did or said to upset you. Whatever you come up with, say the word or phrase and walk away. Go to different rooms, take a walk, go for a drive. COOL OFF. Then examine what was said and WHY it upset you. Is it really a legitimate hurt? A blow to your pride? Something that was triggered from a past relationship? Only you can answer those questions.
When you realize what hurt you and why, go back and calmly tell him. If you don’t want to face him, write it down and give it too him. Or send an email. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to face the one you care about when you realize you were wrong. No matter how you do it, do it!! Relationships are something to enjoy, not dread.
After the thunder stops and you both cool down, sit and TALK. Calmly and coolly tell your partner WHY you said what you did or ask why he said what he did and exactly what did he mean by it. Swallow your pride and TELL him/her what hurt you. None of us are mind readers and the old, worn out saying “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you” is one of the most destructive things in a relationship. Of course they don’t know!!! Do YOU know? Didn’t think so.
There is another article with Rules for Arguments on The Lost Art of Romance blog, written by Romeo. I would recommend reading those, too. The link is under “My Blog List” in the right column.
Since we are all human and disagreements are bound to happen, just how do you deal with them? The best advice I can give is to cool down before saying ANYTHING. Easier said then done. So….since that is not likely to happen, at least have the common sense to realize your partner is in the same boat. He/she will lash out with things they don’t mean, too.
Second best advice is to forgive. Don’t just forgive your partner….forgive yourself, too. Again, we are human and sometimes our emotions suppress common sense. If someone hurts you, it is normal to want to hurt them in return. Unfortunate but true.
Ok….so your ’other’ says something that hurts you. Hopefully the two of you came up with a keyword that lets the other know that all is NOT well in Paradise. You can always go for “Time out”. If you can, (without yelling) give your other a clue as to what is amiss. Don’t just storm off leaving him to wonder what in the world he did or said to upset you. Whatever you come up with, say the word or phrase and walk away. Go to different rooms, take a walk, go for a drive. COOL OFF. Then examine what was said and WHY it upset you. Is it really a legitimate hurt? A blow to your pride? Something that was triggered from a past relationship? Only you can answer those questions.
When you realize what hurt you and why, go back and calmly tell him. If you don’t want to face him, write it down and give it too him. Or send an email. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to face the one you care about when you realize you were wrong. No matter how you do it, do it!! Relationships are something to enjoy, not dread.
After the thunder stops and you both cool down, sit and TALK. Calmly and coolly tell your partner WHY you said what you did or ask why he said what he did and exactly what did he mean by it. Swallow your pride and TELL him/her what hurt you. None of us are mind readers and the old, worn out saying “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you” is one of the most destructive things in a relationship. Of course they don’t know!!! Do YOU know? Didn’t think so.
There is another article with Rules for Arguments on The Lost Art of Romance blog, written by Romeo. I would recommend reading those, too. The link is under “My Blog List” in the right column.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Cats
You gotta love em!! I must admit tho that they do have attitudes and definate personalities.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Maybe...God wanted us to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Maybe...when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, oftentimes, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.
Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.
Maybe...the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
Maybe...you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do.
Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.
Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.
Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.
Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.
Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.
Maybe...when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, oftentimes, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.
Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.
Maybe...the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
Maybe...you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do.
Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.
Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.
Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.
Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.
Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Attorney's Good Advice
AN ATTORNEY'S ADVICE
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. AND TODAY IS SOMEDAY. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company:
"The next time you order checks, have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your check book they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone.
If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks you can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad.
We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily.
We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards, etc.
Unfortunately I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never even thought to do this)..
Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.
The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.
There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend. (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks.
The numbers are:
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Explain (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trains Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. Pass this information along. It could really help someone you care about."
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. AND TODAY IS SOMEDAY. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company:
"The next time you order checks, have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your check book they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone.
If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks you can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad.
We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily.
We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards, etc.
Unfortunately I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never even thought to do this)..
Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.
The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.
There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend. (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks.
The numbers are:
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Explain (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trains Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. Pass this information along. It could really help someone you care about."
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Household tips
I make no claims that these really work but if you are desparate, they can't hurt. Use at your own discretion.
1. Beer conditions the hair. Pour on hair after shampooing and rinse out...unless you want every man that likes beer following you around....then don't rinse it out.
2. Cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Whipped topping will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will kill lice and/or condition your hair
5. White kids glue will remove dead skin & blackheads. Wipe on your face, let dry and peel off.
6. Spike your hair with tooth paste
7. For shiny hair, use brewed tea
8. For sunburn, empty a large jar of instant tea into your bath water
9. Toothpaste helps minor burns
10. Burn your tongue with coffee or tea? Sprinkle sugar on it.
11. Meat tendorizer takes the bite out of bee stings
12. Cornstarch helps athelete's feet
13. Creamy peanut butter for scratched CD's?? Don't know about that one, but if it's already scratched, what the heck....
14. Non stick cooking spray limbers sticking bicycle chains & makes aluminum windows slide easier.
15. Vinegar helps control dandruff
16. To make body paint, heat solid cooking shortening in the micro until it melts, pour into a container and mix with food coloring. Let cool before using. I have not tried this one so don't know if the food coloring will stain the skin. You could also try cake frosting.
17. A few new uses for maxi pads....stick to the palm of your hand and clean windows & floors. Spray with furniture polish and do your dusting. You can even use them as knee pads or a sweat band in a hat!!
18. Remove carpet stains with club soda. Blot with towel to remove liquid.
19. Wine spilled on carpet will soak into salt if you catch it quick enough.
20. Cheap hairspray removes grease from carpet. Spray, rub lightly and dab up.
21. Labels on glassware come off if you rub them with peanut butter.
1. Beer conditions the hair. Pour on hair after shampooing and rinse out...unless you want every man that likes beer following you around....then don't rinse it out.
2. Cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Whipped topping will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will kill lice and/or condition your hair
5. White kids glue will remove dead skin & blackheads. Wipe on your face, let dry and peel off.
6. Spike your hair with tooth paste
7. For shiny hair, use brewed tea
8. For sunburn, empty a large jar of instant tea into your bath water
9. Toothpaste helps minor burns
10. Burn your tongue with coffee or tea? Sprinkle sugar on it.
11. Meat tendorizer takes the bite out of bee stings
12. Cornstarch helps athelete's feet
13. Creamy peanut butter for scratched CD's?? Don't know about that one, but if it's already scratched, what the heck....
14. Non stick cooking spray limbers sticking bicycle chains & makes aluminum windows slide easier.
15. Vinegar helps control dandruff
16. To make body paint, heat solid cooking shortening in the micro until it melts, pour into a container and mix with food coloring. Let cool before using. I have not tried this one so don't know if the food coloring will stain the skin. You could also try cake frosting.
17. A few new uses for maxi pads....stick to the palm of your hand and clean windows & floors. Spray with furniture polish and do your dusting. You can even use them as knee pads or a sweat band in a hat!!
18. Remove carpet stains with club soda. Blot with towel to remove liquid.
19. Wine spilled on carpet will soak into salt if you catch it quick enough.
20. Cheap hairspray removes grease from carpet. Spray, rub lightly and dab up.
21. Labels on glassware come off if you rub them with peanut butter.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Reality
I am a firm believer that we create our own reality and experience. That's not to say that I am always happy and care free. It's much easier to say than to do. But...we CAN choose how we will react to every day annoyances. We can choose to let things upset us or not. We can be happy with what we have or make ourselves miserable wanting what we don't have.
I choose today to be thankful that I have a home, a job and the intelligence to keep that job. I have food and a car. There are many in this world that have none of those, so I am indeed blessed. I have a fiance' whom I love and he loves me. What more could I ask for?
I choose today to be thankful that I have a home, a job and the intelligence to keep that job. I have food and a car. There are many in this world that have none of those, so I am indeed blessed. I have a fiance' whom I love and he loves me. What more could I ask for?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Mom & Papa John
They are both in their 80's, live in a beautiful home on 5 acres and do most of the work themselves. Someone forgot to tell them that they are suppose to be old, feeble and spend their days in a rocking chair.
Which brings up a topic. It is said that every cell in the human body renews every 7 years. So why do we get old?? It is my personal belief that we age because we believe we are suppose to, not because we HAVE to!! Our bodies are made to live a healthy life for hundreds of years. The only reason they don't is because, over countless generations, we have come to believe the opposite. If that is true, then thinking otherwise should reverse (or at least halt) the process of aging. Psst....Peter Pan is my role model. [Now where did Tink go???]
Which brings up a topic. It is said that every cell in the human body renews every 7 years. So why do we get old?? It is my personal belief that we age because we believe we are suppose to, not because we HAVE to!! Our bodies are made to live a healthy life for hundreds of years. The only reason they don't is because, over countless generations, we have come to believe the opposite. If that is true, then thinking otherwise should reverse (or at least halt) the process of aging. Psst....Peter Pan is my role model. [Now where did Tink go???]
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Valentines Day
Valentines Day fast approaches but the love you have for someone should be shown not for just one day but all year round. I for one am very fortunate, my lady is the sweetest most wonderful woman alive and I intend to show her every day how much I love her.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Relationships
Trying to change a person into someone they are not won't happen. Either you love them the way they are, for who they are, or move on. If you attempt to "modify" them, they are sure to resent it.
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